Those of us who have been subjected to sexual trauma often struggle with self-sabotage. It is insidious. It is silent. We are not even aware that we are sabotaging ourselves.
We want to be productive. We want to get ahead. We study all kinds of courses. We qualify, in fact, sometimes over qualify ourselves. And yet somehow, we seem to drop the ball when it comes to collecting on big projects or dreams. Sometimes, after the fact, we are kicking ourselves asking, “Why did I do or not do that?”
So, you wake up in the morning with all kinds of enthusiasm for the projects you’re going to get done during the day.
Now fast forward a few hours, and suddenly you’re dragging yourself home or for those working from home, you stare at the computer screen wondering where the day went, feeling like you never accomplished anything at all.
Sounds familiar? The trick is to realize that managing your day and your life isn’t something entirely outside of your control. Sure, things are going to happen which derail you, but quite often, it is quiet, unconscious self-sabotage that’s taking place. You’ve derailed yourself, through your own negative self-talk.
I’ll speak to our negative self-talk in another post, but right now, the question is,
How do you get past this?
May I share with you some things that help me when I am procrastinating, stabbing myself in the back or sawing of the tree branch with me sitting on the wrong end?
So, the first easy tip is:
Listen to Music
If you’re in a foul mood or find yourself dragging, put on some fast-paced, catchy music that you love. This is a great pick-me-up. Play it as loud as you want. Create a fun work mood or put on headphones if it will disturb others and watch your productivity soar.
Get up and Move
Like listening to music, putting your body in motion will build your energy levels. Dance around the room, take a brisk walk or try a few jumping jacks to get the blood flowing. Then tackle your task again, wide-awake and energized. I find this especially important when working in an office/room with stagnant airflow.
What could be better than listening to music, moving and working. A triple winning feast 🙂
Conversely, sometimes what you may need is some quiet time. If you find your mind racing and you’re unable to concentrate on what you’re doing, try meditation to slow things down.
Find a quiet place, close your eyes, and focus on your breathing. Take deep breaths, nice and slow, and focus yourself on the present until you feel calm again.
Reassess What’s Important
It might be you’re not getting things done because you no longer find the value in your original goal. If this seems to be the case, take some time to ask yourself some very crucial questions about why you’re on this journey.
Is what you are trying to get done important to you or is it a goal set by someone else? Is it just a tedious, boring task that needs to be done as part of the larger goal? What and why is your resistance to getting things done?
You might need to eat that ugly frog (task) that you so hate tackling for breakfast and then get on to the easier tasks. It might be you need to shift your goal to something else entirely or, at the very least, adjust the outcome to serve your present needs.
When all else fails, if you do not feel your work has value, offer to help someone else. Mentoring is one of those win-win situations where you bring your life skills and experience to help someone else who truly needs it. At the same time, you rediscover your passion through the act of teaching others what you know.
One of the things we often don’t realize is that we maybe afraid of success – as ridiculous as it may seem. We don’t want to be in the limelight (even though we may secretly crave it). We don’t want to be in a position where we get hurt…again. So, the self-sabotage, the missing deadlines, turning in substandard work is the brain’s way of protecting us from being seen as valuable.
These 5 simple things move your mind into “I enjoy being me” work mode. And then it’s good-bye self-sabotage, hello accomplishment.
I am writing this article as an ode to myself. A kick in the butt if you will. I’ve had written a blog post on my to do list for 6 weeks now. And now it’s done! YEAH!!!! So maybe I should add a 6th very simple point JUST DO IT J