Sexual assault is a harrowing experience that can shatter one’s sense of safety and well-being. For women aged 30 and above who have endured rape or gender-based violence (GBV), healing from such trauma is a journey that requires courage, resilience, and support. In this blog, we’ll explore practical strategies for transforming perspectives on sexual assault, empowering survivors to reclaim their confidence, inner peace, and sense of self.
Understanding Sexual Assault
Before delving into healing strategies, it’s crucial to understand what sexual assault entails. so often victims are made to feel guilty and dirty because they objected to a touch or look.
In fact, I would say there is an abundance of movies, songs, and literature that inculcate rape culture as a norm in many societies.
When the average person thinks of sexual assault they think rape, sodomy, or gender-based violence. However, sexual assault encompasses much more than that. It includes:
- Non-Consensual Sexual Touching: such as resting a hand on your knee, thigh, back or any part of your body; groping, fondling, or kissing, without explicit consent.
- Sexual Coercion: This is pressuring, manipulating, or threatening someone into engaging in sexual activity against their will including the emotional manipulation that so many of us, especially when we are in a relationship have fallen into; or the online cyberbullying and blackmail that has so many of us too scared to even speak about.
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Sexual Harassment: The unwelcome sexual advances, comments, gestures, or behaviours that create a hostile or uncomfortable environment for the recipient. For example, catcalling that many engage in because it is macho. Interestingly, when I speak to men, they assure me that women ‘adore’ this behaviour as it makes them feel sexy and attractive! I would say this is ridiculous. However, I will agree that
many persons of both genders have been socialized to feel this toxic behaviour is the norm.
Please note that sexual harassment can occur in a variety of places including the family home, churches, workplaces, schools, and playgrounds. It may include verbal harassment, unwanted touching, or displaying sexually explicit materials.
- Marital or Intimate Partner Sexual Assault: Sexual activity forced upon a spouse or intimate partner without their consent is not acceptable. That fact that you had to FORCE should tell you that. Contrary to common misconceptions, you do not own your partner. He/she is not your property and so consent is still required in marital or intimate relationships.
- and much more…..
Whatever form of sexual assault, whether it’s rape, molestation, or leering violates a person’s boundaries and dignity and is traumatic.
Persons who have been exposed to any kind of sexual trauma begin their healing journey by first acknowledging that it happened. It was not a figment of your imagination. It was not ok and it was not your fault.
Dealing with Trauma
So often the first memory of assault is covered up and repressed. Victims carry that feeling of shame and guilt around for years sometimes not being able to identify where it is coming from.
It is important to know that the aftermath of sexual assault often leaves deep emotional scars that can linger for years. Although it is very painful, verbalising your fear and shame is part of the process of letting it go.
It helps to seek professional support through therapy or support groups. However, do this when you are ready.
Feeling a bit uncomfortable with your therapist or support group in the beginning is to be expected. Trauma leaves us guarded and vulnerable. Don’t feel rushed. Take it at your own pace.
Remember that by confronting painful memories and emotions in a safe environment, survivors can gradually heal and regain a sense of control over their lives.
Building Confidence After Sexual Assault
One of the most profound effects of sexual assault is the erosion of self-confidence and self-worth. Learning to take care of ourselves, can I say that more explicitly? Putting ourselves, our emotions and mental-health first will help us to rebuild our confidence.
A major part of doing this is by setting boundaries. Affirmations, journaling and mindfulness also help. I’ve found that doing physical activity – tennis, swimming, walking, etc helps to get rid of stress and take the edge off the fear. The caveat is to do what feels safe for you. Even though walking is my personal go-to, sometimes I feel uneasy and jump at every sound and shadow. Having company – a friend or group, as you do your exercise might help.
What are your strengths? Often, after sexual assault, the only thing we can identify is our faults. But we all have strengths and accomplishments. Can you remember these? Maybe you need to have friends or colleagues remind you how amazing you are.
Take the focus off of the act. Place it rebuilding. You are resilient! Let’s cultivate a positive self-image.
Moving Forward
In conclusion, transforming perspectives on sexual assault is a journey of healing, growth, and empowerment. By understanding the nature of trauma, seeking support, and practicing self-care, survivors can reclaim their confidence and inner peace. Together, let’s empower those who have been assaulted to break free from the shadows of their past and embrace a future filled with strength, resilience, and hope.
If you or someone you know has been affected by sexual assault, know that you’re not alone. Reach out to a trusted friend, family member, or professional for support. Remember, healing is possible, and you deserve to reclaim your power and live a life of joy.
If you need someone to talk to Book A Free Call here https://sandrahamilton.co/book-zoho/
We can walk through this together.
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